Psychic Pimps

The Director of Self-Funded Operations closed the file with annoyance, then pressed the inter-com.

“Send the psychics in”.

The door opened and two young people entered, glanced cautiously at their Boss, and sat down.

He gestured at the file in front of him. “Explain”.

The psychics shifted in their chairs, unwilling to be the first to speak. Their Manager fixed the blonde woman with a cold stare. “You first”, he said.

“We got her to upgrade her appearance. We influenced her to go to a hairdressers and made sure she was given a first-rate cut and colour”.

Their Controller nodded.

“But you failed to get her to switch to contact lenses”.

“Not completely. We influenced her to get a prescription”. The woman smiled, looking almost angelic. “Even though she could not afford them”.

“So, why didn’t she wear them?”

The psychic shrugged. “She has dry eyes. She found the lenses too uncomfortable to wear”.

The Director turned to the thin young man, who nervously brushed dark hair away from his face.

“You subjected her to the play?”

“Yes” the young man replied, looking worried.

“So, how did it fail?”

“We led her to believe that Jesus wanted her to be a prostitute. Made her think he was her first customer. She has respect for authority, so we figured she wouldn’t be able to back out of the ‘contract’ she thought she was committed to”.

“Yet she rejected it. What went wrong?”

“We followed it up with making men notice her. She panicked. She is from a rural peasant background where men are sexist, and she had a lifetime habit of avoiding male attention for safety reasons”.

The Manager let out his breath through his teeth. He turned to the young woman again.

“Did you play on her vanity? She has an exceptionally beautiful body and with a bit of effort she could look quite striking”.

“She has no vanity. Puritanical religious background again. She scorns adornment. And after a lifetime of being insulted by men does not care what men think of her”.

“Her income?”

The male answered this time. “That is not our department, but her income is subsistence. We managed to reduce it. For example, there was a shop where she was able to buy “cooking cheese” at a very reduced price. We persuaded the shop to stop selling the cheese for health and safety reasons. Another cheap shop she used, we have taken over ownership and increased the prices. We persuaded her landlord to increase the rent and utility charges”. The young man shrugged. “When prices go up, she just uses less and goes without. Poor background. She will do anything but go into debt”.

“You offered her the chance to make a false insurance claim?”

The psychics nodded. “She wasn’t interested”.

The Manager leant back at his desk. “This woman is earning less than she would get on welfare. She has no vanity, is indifferent to her appearance, wears glasses (winces), is honest, moral, respects authority, but prepared to break a contract she believed she had with Jesus, has a beautiful body, and as a prostitute would bring us an income of over £2k per week, £100,000pa.  And the best psychics in the land cannot recruit her?”

There was a tense silence. “But Sir, why not just use force, kidnap her?”

“And risk exposing the establishment as pimps? Besides force being obvious and possibly revealing our hand, it is less effective than getting the woman to think she has chosen this path for herself. Once she is in the situation – she thinks of her own volition – her guilt and shame keep her there. She has no-one else to blame and no-one to expose”.

“Well, take the file. Do your homework properly this time and come up with a solution”.

The male psychic hesitated as he took the file.

“Sir, we have another problem. We think she suspects she was being manipulated. She has just shaved her head”.


Copyright 2014, Prayerwarriorpsychicnot